Dear God,
Thank you for waking me this morning. As I reflect on today as Easter, I am thinking about the word “resurrection” and what it means to me in this season of life. As a child, I’m not sure the word meant much to me beyond being the seminal plot point of the Easter story. Jesus’ resurrection meant that we were saved, and to be saved meant we could go to heaven. But even heaven was a concept with far-off implications as a child. Resurrection today takes on more of a personal, practical, daily importance as I’ve embarked on a healing journey to rediscover the depth of my true, authentic self and to love that self fully.
Today, the word resurrection represents to me the profound opportunity to be renewed, restored and reimagined – the time-unlimited opportunity to find myself in the vastness and unending possibilities of your love.
Resurrection feels like a healing promise that whatever hurts or feels insurmountable will not last. It feels like the softness I feel as I meditate and get lost in the comfort of my body sinking into my blankets and allowing your love to comfort me. Resurrection feels like our relationship deepening, submerging into the darkest parts of the pitch-black ocean and unknowable to anyone other than us.
Resurrection feels like a holy process I’ve been in for some time, perhaps unknowingly. Seven years ago, when I moved back to my home state of North Carolina, one of the most challenging parts was leaving a church I had grown to love. Finding a church that feels so deeply in alignment with one’s spiritual truth is difficult, and I quietly grieved the loss of that connection unbeknownst to many. Instead of finding another church, the seven years that followed have been a season of relationship building with you, God, unfiltered or unfettered by any other agenda. I’ve felt safe in the time we’ve spent together, comforted by the affirmations you’ve filled me with and inspired by the spiritual love I’ve discovered. I’m not sure I would have felt the relaxing and assuring comfort of your love were we unable to spend this time alone; even in the last five months, I’ve felt the softness of your love grow more palpable.
As I continue to walk on a healing path, I am grateful to know resurrection as a healing process that we may join in with you for our individual renewal and collective healing. I meditate today on the softness of your love. I pray to stay with you in this healing process, constantly feeling your presence and remembering the peace that comes with the continuous regeneration of your love over the earth.
In gratitude,
Courtney